Brave? No, cheap!

I saw my hairdresser today. I stopped dying my hair in May (meaning I stopped covering up my naturally grey hair), and had it cut very, very short. I suppose it did take some courage, but honestly, the every three week maintenance became an expense I no longer wanted. A haircut once every six weeks is much more convenient and affordable.

At the salon, a woman walked past me and said she wished she was so brave, and my hairdresser and I laughed. When I told my hairdresser that about 98 of every 100 people I see ask me why I decided to dye my hair "blonde," she said, "I wish you had blogged about this whole episode of your life." Then we debated why so many people are convinced I dyed my hair blonde, had some more laughs, and tearfully admitted we both do miss the every three weeks visits, but this is good, too.

Meanwhile, I'm seeing the whole "blonde" thing as funny, and I'm going to find out if it is true that blondes have more fun. We'll see if I blog about that...grin.

A brand new, shiny year

I've been terribly remiss about posting, haven't I? The two of you who actually read this may need reviving from the shock of seeing a new post!

The Holidays came, and thankfully, went. I used to comment to a friend that I basically held my breath between Thanksgiving and and the second of January. 2011 is shiny and new, and I'm determined to consider it thus as long as I can, at least the shiny part. Maybe I will be able to breathe between next Thanksgiving and next January 2nd.

I've been sidetracked with some back pain, family stuff, return to work, concern about some of my people who aren't faring as well as I wish they were. I've been saddened beyond words by the recent events in Arizona.

Although one can (and many have) argue that no politician's views are directly responsible for the actions taken by this lone gunman, I do think that violent rhetoric is out of hand and influences individuals more than we know. Violent rhetoric doesn't leave room for compromise or any form of bipartisanship. Retreat to our not-so-neutral corners doesn't accomplish what we need accomplished for our society and for the world. Even people with diametrically opposed views such as Tip O'Neill and Ronald Reagan could be civil. They could also live with crafting and supporting legislation that, while not perfectly aligned to either party's views, got things accomplished. I really only want to hear the phrase "locked and loaded" on the TV show What Not to Wear, where the hosts are commenting about appropriate undergarments and jacket styles for very well-endowed, bosomy women.

I believe I heard on some tv program that bullets are about two cents apiece. It used to be that statesmen (what's the right word for the 21st century, women? Statesperson I suppose) were also common. Now they seem in alarmingly short supply. How I would love to see that quality return to our lives. I would also like to see some sane gun reform (to my gun toting friends who don't even read this, note I did not say gun "control.") Is it really unreasonable to have to wait to buy a handgun? Is it really unreasonable to prevent civilian gun users from having extra round magazine clips and purchase of unlimited quantities of ammunition?

Moving on, I've also been inspired by many blog and twitter posts, and while I somewhat agree with those who think the whole "one word" buzz is limiting, and I like to be multi-faceted, I have picked one word as a main theme for this year: LOVE. I want to love fiercely this year, and so far, I have. Now I have to consider how to love fiercely as a Virgo, having always been a Libra. Do we really have to believe there are now 13 astrological signs?

14 days down, 351 to go!

"Expectation is the root of all heartache."
~Shakespeare

I just saw this quotation in my twitter stream. It struck me as though someone had slapped me upside the head. I've had some unmet expectations lately, and they have brought me down.

Antidote? Live in the present moment, even though that includes an incessant whine from a power tool next door on a day too hot to close the windows. 86 degrees in mid-December. Sorry to those buried in deep drifts in the upper midwest!

I am mindful, at this moment, of so many blessings that outweigh a couple of unmet expectations.

Doubts and Fears, Confidence and Synchronicities

To live content with small means;
to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion;
to be worthy, not respectable, and
wealthy, not rich;
to listen to stars and birds,
babes and sages, with open heart;
to study hard; to think quietly,
act frankly, talk gently,
await occasions, hurry never;
in a word, to let the spiritual,
unbidden and unconscious,
grow up through the common
--this is my symphony."

This poem, by William Henry Channing, has been a fixture in my office for about a year now. I have it posted near my computer where I can reflect on it. I don't remember where I first saw it. It seems to resonate with many people who see it. In the past few weeks, I've run across it a number of times on others' blogs and that reminds me of the synchronicity and connectedness of us all.

There are some doubts and fears in my life right now; self-doubt, fears for some friends facing major challenges. Finding the synchronicities gives me a feeling of comfort and the confidence to remember this too shall pass, and life is precious right at this moment, with all of its pain and beauty, challenges and opportunities, fear and certainty.

Long time passing

I took a needed break from blogging and having a personal presence on the Web. I don't know what, exactly, brings me back but it feels right to dip my toes into the shallow end of the pool and see what happens.

I was inspired to look at Mary Oliver's work again, after reading a post at ChezSpud, and the following poem resonates today:

"Can You Imagine?
For example, what the trees do
not only in lightening storms
or the watery dark of a summer's night
or under the white nets of winter
but now, and now, and now - whenever
we're not looking. Surely you can't imagine
they don't dance, from the root up, wishing
to travel a little, not cramped so much as wanting
a better view, or more sun, or just as avidly
more shade - surely you can't imagine they just
stand there loving every
minute of it, the birds or the emptiness, the dark rings
of the years slowly and without a sound
thickening, and nothing different unless the wind,
and then only in its own mood, comes
to visit, surely you can't imagine
patience, and happiness, like that."


- Mary Oliver